Rooted and Rising
By: Michaela Feldmann
“It’s only when you stop trying that you truly fail.” That quote sits in a frame in Ruby Sebastian-Benitez’s office and is a constant reminder for her to keep pushing through.
“I feel like no matter what part of my life it is, I’m always trying my best to show up and be the best version of myself, be the most helpful person I can be,” Ruby shares.
It’s an attribute Ruby has carried with her since she was a young girl.
“Both of my parents had to leave their home countries behind and work whatever jobs they could to keep a roof over our heads. I saw that growing up, and would help them whenever I could. They never gave up on their passions,” Ruby explains.
That drive, instilled in her by her parents, has pushed her through some of the hardest moments of her life.
“When I was 7, my parents got divorced. It was hard,” she recalls.
“My mom had her own struggles. But, looking back, life is hard sometimes. When I was 13, my dad got full custody of me, my brother, Jose, and my sister Esmeralda. I’m so thankful for my stepmom, Maria, because she taught us a lot, and I’m grateful she was part of my childhood.”
“I was a tough one to handle every now and then,” Ruby adds. “When I was 14, I contemplated taking my own life. It was a dark moment for me, and I was going through a lot of emotions at that age, and some emotional and mental abuse, too. I was admitted to the hospital in Cherokee, where I realized that I did not want to die.”
Ruby says she started drinking at 16, sneaking out to party and hiding drinks at family events. “I would pick fights and skip school. I was always the friend who had to be taken care of,” Ruby continues. “It was just not a good time for me, and I lost a lot of people’s trust along the way.”
This pattern continued into her early 20s. “I woke up in a lot of places confused and scared, because I didn’t know how I got there. I would go to work tipsy and spend weekends and after-work hours at the bar. Something had to change,” Ruby recalls.
“I like who I am now as a person.”
In 2022, Ruby made the decision to give up alcohol for Lent. But by May, she says she relapsed and found herself behind the wheel after drinking.
“Someone ended up calling the cops to report a drunk driver. An hour later, they found me crashed on the side of the road, and they took me to jail. I thank God every day that I didn’t hurt anyone else or myself. That was a wake-up call. I thought, ‘This is not who I want to be or who I’m meant to be,’” Ruby shares.
On October 31, 2022, Ruby had her last drink.
“I was all dressed up for Halloween, passing out candy in the neighborhood and having some drinks at my house with Jose and Esmeralda. We went trick-or-treating around the neighborhood after, and it was just this perfect memory to hold onto. I decided that was it,” Ruby affirms.
November 1 marks her first day of sobriety and many amazing first days to come. “I like who I am now as a person. I am the good example I want to be for my siblings. I am now showing up for myself,” adds Ruby.
One way she does that is through running, something that keeps her grounded and balanced.
“Running has kind of always been a part of who I am. I remember in middle school, they had this after-school program where you could just run in the halls. I loved doing that. At one point, I lived with my older sister, Itzel, and I used to run up and down Jackson Street, which is three miles, to clear my head,” Ruby explains.
Ruby’s first official race was a 5K Santa Claus run in Le Mars.
“I appreciate God for the life he’s given me.”
“And I thought, this is kind of fun, and I wanted to keep pushing. So, I made a promise to myself to run a mile every day,” Ruby notes.
Last year, she completed the Mighty Mo, which includes three days of running a 5K, 10K and a half-marathon.
“I may not run fast, but I run long. I had originally signed up for the 5K at the Mighty Mo, but decided to also run the 10k in remembrance of my friend Hanson. It was the first anniversary of his passing, and I knew what it felt like to be in such a dark place. I wanted to remember and honor him,” Ruby shares.
Ruby ran the 5k with her niece and little brother, and then the 10K in memory of Hanson. She then dedicated the half-marathon, which is 13.1 miles, to each of her 13 siblings.
“As I ran, I thought about what I love about each of my siblings, and that pushed me to keep going. I plan to run again in this year’s Mighty Mo Run this September, and finish the full marathon,” Ruby smiles.
Ruby’s nine sisters and four brothers hold a big place in her heart and life, and through the years, some of her favorite and best memories growing up always included her family.
“I remember one time on our way home from Chuck E. Cheese, my dad stopped at the Floyd Monument with me, Jose, Esmeralda and Itzel. We were out there running around, and it started to pour. My dad let us stay out there, play and have a good time. When we got home, we all just laid on the floor in our wet clothes, laughing and talking. That’s something I really hold onto. When we didn’t have much, we always had each other,” Ruby adds.
Now, years later, they all still get together, play games, do arts and crafts, or hold dance parties.
“Those are the moments that matter most to me. Being able to share time with them is what makes me rich in life and grateful,” Ruby continues. “They’re why I keep going. I do it for this big crazy dream I have to one day own a piece of land large enough to build a house for each of them, 13 in total, plus a home for myself, and of course, my parents.”
That dream fuels her drive and passion.
From Famous Dave’s, to Marto Brewing Co., to the Dakota Dunes Country Club, to her mom’s food truck, Ruby’s Tacos, to her dad’s business, J&V Landscaping and Housekeeping, you’ll find Ruby working at them all.
“Whenever someone needs help, I jump in. It’s who I am.
I love being able to work alongside my family. I’ve worked next to my dad for years, and I’m now the manager at J&V, working with my uncle and brother, too. That means so much to me. I feel so fulfilled,” Ruby adds.
As a Jay Shetty-certified Life and Success Coach, helping others through her life coaching business “All the Way Up,” Ruby continues to impact the lives of others.
“When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up. Helping people realize that life is always “all the way up” and that life is a journey. This is one of the many positive takeaways from her coaching business.
She credits mentors like Jay Shetty and others from ‘The Contractor Fight’ for helping get her to where she is today.
“A lot of them have become friends now. They give me tough love when I need it. I love having people in my corner who respect me but make sure I’m not getting too comfortable in life. They push me to be my best self,” notes Ruby.
Now she is a mentor to people going through tough times, with her own life experiences to guide her.
“I always knew God had something bigger in store for me. I have a tattoo that reads ‘Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.’ I appreciate God for the life he’s given me,” Ruby shares.
“My mindset is what I love the most about myself. I know now that I am somebody, and I’m always fighting back and trying by staying sober, working, and putting myself out there with my coaching. Growing up, I would tell my dad, ‘I’m just surviving,’ and now, I really am living,” Ruby affirms.
More With Ruby
Ruby celebrated one thousand days of sobriety by jumping out of a plane. This November marks four years of sobriety. “I didn’t do a 12-step program, but I had God to give me the strength to keep showing up sober,” Ruby shares.
She loves to travel and go to concerts, along with spoiling her family. Ruby has visited many locations places including Italy, but her favorite places are Minnesota or Colorado. Ruby enjoys great views and hiking in parks, too. Being around the trees and the open air feels so good.
Ruby picked up her dog, Junior, while out in Colorado with her siblings and parents. He’s a poodle mix and is two now. Her dad brings him to the office, and she loves just getting to take breaks with him.
Ruby is part of a running club in Sioux City on Wednesdays. She finds it so fun to have friends there to share her passions with similar people.
She loves arts and crafts because they help calm her. She also loves dancing. When Ruby was little, her parents would play songs, and she would just dance. Now, whether it’s a night out with friends or enjoying a night in, Ruby still enjoys dancing with her siblings and nieces for an impromptu dance party.