Finding Purpose in Faith
By Michaela Feldmann
Obstacles. Trials. Tribulations. Adversity.
These things are nothing new to Rachelle Rawson. And if you’ve had the privilege of meeting her, you know they are just a piece of her story.
“I had to go through a lot of things at a really young age. I’ve gone through every kind of trauma you can think of, and Life is hard, and God is good,” Rachelle shares. It’s a motto she lives by each and every day, and one she’s living proof of. For her, faith is not just a moment in time; it’s a guiding principle that led to her purpose.
Rachelle grew up a Sioux City native, but for her, home looked a little different than most. “I was in and out of foster homes as a kid. I thought love had to be earned or that I wasn’t good enough,” says Rachelle. “My first sign of God’s love came in the form of some teachers at school who became foster parents so I could live with them when I was about 17. They legally adopted me at 21.”
At 20, she had her first child, Chloe, got married, and had two more children, Julian and Isaiah.
“Growing up, I had two dreams. I wanted to make a difference in the world, and I wanted to be a really great mom. I remember, at a very early age, those things were placed on my heart.”
In 2007, while pregnant with Isaiah, Rachelle went on her first mission trip to New Orleans. “I immediately was like Jesus can be my best friend, and I don’t have to feel alone anymore. I was sold out for Jesus. But I got busy ‘doing’ for all the wrong reasons. At the time, I had just divorced my first husband, and for the first time, I had to grieve. And the thing about trauma is if you don’t deal with it, it comes back to bite you,” Rachelle notes.
One night, when out with girls from work, someone offered her drugs in the bathroom.
“And I did them. I went from partying to being homeless in six months. I became addicted, lost everything, and I fell hard and fast,” Rachelle recalls. Rachelle says she ended up in an abusive relationship with a man who was in a gang.
“He didn’t do drugs, but he sold them. The whole time, I was in and out of treatment centers because I never gave up hope of breaking generational chains and being a good mom, and I eventually did. But at the time, I thought that I’d get clean and get out of that life. But the relationship was more powerful than the substance for me. I had holes in my heart that I wasn’t allowing Jesus to fill, and I believed the lies that I had my one chance with God, and I blew it.”
But here’s the thing about God, he doesn’t desert us, especially in our darkest moments. “I ended up finding out I was pregnant. The day I did, that was the last day I ever did drugs. I have 11 and a 1/2 years sober. Something I’ve learned is to fall forward.”
But Rachelle says falling into God might look a little different than you think.
“The feds started coming to talk to me, and I cooperated with them. I remember repenting and saying to God, ‘Just let me know it’s going to be ok,’ and I went back and sat on my couch. I looked over and typed out on a piece of paper were these bible verses. One said, ‘I will give you the desires of your heart’. To this day, I don’t know where it came from. But what I do know is that God is faithful and he keeps his promises,” Rachelle affirms.
As she leaned into God and her faith, life kept testing her. Due to federal incarceration, Rachelle’s baby, Bella, was adopted out.
“To this day, if you ask me what the hardest thing that I’ve ever been through is, it would be losing my baby. But I thought if I never see her again, I know she is safe, and that’s what matters.”
She also got federally indicted for conspiracy that carried a mandatory minimum and was sent to prison for four-and-a-half years, and served two.
“I said this is going to be a mission trip for me,” Rachelle adds. “My favorite story in the bible is of a man on a mat for 38 years by the healing spa. Jesus came on a Sunday, in all of his glory, to stir things up and said to the man, ‘Do you want to get well?’ The man made all the excuses, and Jesus bypassed them and gave him an action statement: ‘Pick up your mat and walk.’ I was ready for my action statement. I was ready to go and get well.”
Rachelle spent 12 hours every day in the word, living her life out loud and for an audience of one: Jesus.
“I woke up every day and said, ‘How bad can this day be? I get to wake up with Jesus.’ Nothing in this life belongs to me. I laid everything at the foot of the cross. I went to prison, and it was amazing. I consider it holy ground.” It was here that Rachelle says the Lord told her she was supposed to open Agape Community Services in Sioux City; her true purpose.
“There is purpose in everything, and when you are faithful with little, the Lord will bless you with much. A year ago, he delivered that to me. It’s been ten years of praying, planning, and developing.”
Now they own 40 acres of land by the new jail in Sioux City for Agape Community Services, a 9-to-12-month treatment program for 65 men to build pro-social leaders in the Siouxland Community.
“We want to put men back in households as fathers, husbands, and leaders. I love our community, and I think they are doing the best they can, but 30-day treatment centers are not enough. It takes 63 days to build a new neuropath way of practicing something 15-20 minutes a day.”
The program has eight components that are evidence-based and will feature a business where they prepare prepackaged, fresh meals made with clean ingredients.
“We believe in hard work. If the metric is leadership, men need to gain skills and work. We’ll have a garden where they can learn food service, how to portion properly, you have a sales and marketing component to it, a delivery component, and the meals will be affordable. That way, it’s a small tangible way that our community can support us, and the men can get skills.”
Rachelle says that following the program’s completion, a social worker will follow participants for five years.
“Are they showing up at your football games? Are they leading groups in their community? Where is their volunteer place? That to me is the real metric,” Rachelle notes.
One of her favorite things about the building is a family room where the men can have supervised overnight visits with their kids.
“They can learn how to be dads or have their wives come and have a date night. We are going to have daddy-daughter dances. Our dining hall is going to be a place for families to reunite.”
Eventually, they’ll expand to teens and women, having a whole campus.
“For the saving of lives and the restoration of souls. I believe this is the last non-profit we will have to open,” Rachelle attests. It’s something she says she couldn’t do without her beautiful board of directors at Agape and her amazing husband she proudly coined “Brad the Dad.”
“I PRAYED for him. Brad is the sweetest, softest, faithful servant and the most intentional dad. Every day, he is like, ‘How can I serve you?’ Brad is a provider and a hard worker, and we are a team that does everything together. He enables me to change the world by helping me at home, including making breakfast, lunch, and dinner, because the Lord knows I am not a cook,” Rachelle smiles.
Before he met me, he had no kids, and now we have Chloe, Julian, Isaiah, Samuel, Ruth, and our sweet and spicy Bravelyn (Brave). Just like the Lord promised, I got all the desires of my heart.”
No matter the trial, Rachelle faced them head-on, with the support of Jesus next to her. That included during her pregnancy with Brave.
“I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to have my right breast removed. I said, ‘Alright, God. Here we go. Who is this for, and what are you trying to do in me?’”
Just like prison, Rachelle says she wanted to use that time as a gift.
“I had a year of chemo, six weeks of radiation, 14 surgeries, sepsis, internal bleeding, and 99 adventures. It was another place to be a missionary and be intentional.”
Everywhere she went, Rachelle prayed for people.
“I’d ask people how I could pray for them. One day, when I was getting radiation, a lady stayed after. With tears streaming down her face, she said, ‘Yesterday I had a gun to my head and I said God, I’m going to give you 24 more hours. Let someone notice me.’ After we prayed together, she said, ‘I think I’m going to stay a while’. That’s the power of God. You never know the impact you could have on someone.”
The best part of the journey, Rachelle says, is the memories she and her family have made.
“We had one adventure a day, whether it was taking shaving cream and food coloring and painting the tables or dancing in the rain, we made every moment count. It was another reminder to live every day like it’s your last, and to be intentional and to notice people. To really see them.”
It’s a feeling she holds close to her yet today. In September, Rachelle restarted her fight against cancer; this time in her lymph nodes.
“It’s another hard battle ahead, but I know God is still good, and we trust Him in all things. We are deeply thankful for the incredible community surrounding us, but more than anything, I want people to know that tomorrow isn’t promised for anyone.”
As she enters this new challenge, Rachelle says she knows that Jesus is the ultimate healer and that she has complete trust that He has a plan for her family.
“Even in this new season, my passion and urgency to see lives changed have only grown stronger. My heart is set on continuing to raise our kids, love my husband well, and keep pressing forward to bring Agape Community Services to life,” Rachelle shares.
Rachelle says no matter what she faces, she wants everyone, especially those at Agape, to feel what she does from the Lord: loved, seen, noticed, and cared for.
“We help people step into their identity, their calling, and purpose when they leave. Everyone has a story. Everyone has had something happen to them. But it’s not who we are. You can use your pain for a purpose, or you could waste it. You can’t go back, but you can sure fall forward, and you can change the future.”
More With Rachelle
Faith, family, fitness. Rachelle and Brad work hard and play hard. They love to hike, camp, and have adventures. Rachelle especially loves rollerblading and weight lifting. “I just love life,” she shares.
Volunteering is extremely important to Rachelle and Brad, and they do it alongside their kids. Rachelle currently coaches her daughter’s soccer team and says it’s all about having fun. “We did yoga at one point because they were tired. It is such an honor to pour into these little ladies and teach them to be leaders and difference makers.”
For every holiday, Rachelle sends Bella a card to open one day. “I never want her to think that she wasn’t loved, wanted, or known. Whenever her mom allows her to have that information, we will be right here waiting.”
Rachelle’s dream is to fix up a school bus (schoolie), park it in their driveway, and turn their home into a halfway house for six women. “We can have family dinners with them and do ministry as a family.”
Her favorite thing in the whole world is to be a mom and wife, loving Jesus the whole way through life. Rachelle wants to be remembered for helping people develop personal relationships with Jesus.